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Summer
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FIC: Five Things Meme, part 1

For csi_tokyo3: Five 'Risqué' Photographs of Witches that Neville Longbottom Discreetly Keeps on His Office Desk (312 words)

1. Celestina Warbeck. He's had this picture since before he knew what "risqué" meant. All he knew was that he liked the way her eyes looked - big, sad, and intensely green under the lights - so he's taken the picture with him from under his mattress at home, to hidden in a drawer in his Hogwarts dorm, and finally to his desk at work, where he put it in the open for the first time in his life.

2. Gwenog Jones. After the ribbing he received about Celestina and his subsequent embarrassment, his office mates got him this "glamour shot" of the famous Quidditch player, half in apology and half in continued teasing. Neville leaves it out for their benefit more than his own, facing outward on his desk. Though he does peek at it from time to time. Who knew that a witch could make a broom look so sexy?

3. Pomona Sprout. She means well, he knows, and he would have been disturbed by the implications if he hadn't heard that every Hufflepuff in his year got the same photo. He can't bring himself to get rid of it, so he keeps a potted bubotuber directly in front of it at all times.

4. Angelina Johnson. Clipped out of Quidditch Weekly's swimsuit issue, framed, and stashed behind a few other photos so that Neville can pull it out when he's been having a particularly trying day.

5. And last but not least, the only one of the lot that was not professionally taken. A pretty young witch, naked from the waist up, looking back over her shoulder at the camera with a blush that manages to be both sexy and shy, the curve of one perfect breast just visible as she turns. The inscription reads, To Neville - Thanks again. If you're ever in Romania, call me. Love, Tonks.


For etrangere: Five Ways to Make Remus Lupin Lose His Well-Practiced Self-Control (233 words)

1. The idiot has a soft spot for gardenias - gardenias, of all things! Severus hadn't even really meant anything by it the first time, except that he'd bought a few more than he needed for his potions. Still, a weakness that could be exploited so easily was something to remember.

2. It turns out Lupin is extremely ticklish just behind the knee. A few well-placed strokes there and he's begging for mercy, which Severus has found he rather likes the sound of.

3. Not long after the Tickling Incident, Severus discovered that his arse was, for whatever reason, another weapon in the assault on Lupin's self-control. All he has to do is bend down to pick something up - just so - and he's guaranteed to have Lupin's full attention. Add to that a suggestive sort of smirk, and Lupin's "well-practiced" self-discipline is demolished.

4. Severus found another way to get through that calm demeanor the first time he came up behind Lupin unexpectedly, wrapped his arms around him, and began to kiss his neck, just below the ear. He was rewarded by the best sort of throaty groan, and a rather memorable night.

5. When it was clear that Severus was not going to get tired of making Lupin lose control in those ways, he was nevertheless surprised to find that a simple platinum band could move the werewolf to tears.


For mnemosyne_1: Five Times Regulus Pissed His Older Brother Off (279 words)

1. One of Regulus' earliest memories is of some huge event - he has vague impressions of white flowers everywhere, so it was probably some distant cousin's wedding - and Sirius wanting him to climb a tree in the far corner of the garden. Regulus wouldn't do it, and Sirius called him a pansy and pushed him and Regulus scraped his knee and went running to his mother. He didn't tell her anything, he swears he didn't, but she punished Sirius anyway. It was a week before Sirius would talk to him again.

2. He did tattle the time he caught Sirius playing Mediwitch with Bellatrix, but Sirius was the only one that was angry and Bella just laughed.

3. Christmas, 1969. Even though it wasn't his fault at all that their parents picked out nicer and larger gifts for him - if Sirius wanted a house elf of his own, he should have asked for one. And it wouldn't hurt to actually do what their mother said to do, once in a while.

4. By the time Regulus was eleven, he was sick and tired of Sirius being angry at him for things that weren't his fault. It's not like he got to choose where to be Sorted, after all.

5. When Sirius ran into him in Diagon Alley, pulled him into a private alcove, and yanked the sleeve of Regulus' robe up to his elbow, Regulus was sure his brother would be more royally pissed off than he'd ever seen him. And there was anger there, but tempered by something else. It was the something else that made him sit up that night, staring at the sky.


For marginaliana: Five Times Harry One-Upped Snape (279 words)

1. The brat somehow got the better of him, in that first conversation after… After. Severus still wasn't sure how the talk had come around to sexual preferences (he blamed the Firewhisky), but he'd thought for sure the boy would run screaming in terror when Severus admitted he was gay - only to find out that Potter was not only gay, but he'd just broken up a relationship with Finnigan, of all people.

2. The second conversation would never have happened if Severus hadn't been completely sloshed. Even in that state, it was maddening to find out that while Severus had slept with one Malfoy, Potter had had them both, father and son. Fucking Malfoys.

3. And then! Severus thought three different Weasleys on three different occasions was surely some sort of record, only to discover that Potter had five different Weasleys, though only on four different occasions. And that wasn't even counting the girl, whom Severus had declared would not count before he heard about Ron, Percy, Charlie, Fred, and George.

4. He'd managed to ignore Potter's drunken come-ons, and the thinly-veiled hints trying to find out where Severus lived, only to find the Boy-Who-Lived-Longer-Than-Severus-Thought-He-Would standing on his doorstep one night when he came home. It wasn't even worth asking how the brat had found him.

5. When Severus reached for the bottle of the lubricant he made himself, Potter had the commercially available version already in hand - and a knowing sort of smirk on his face. But he managed to refrain from actually teasing Severus for selling sex products under the name 'Madame Feelgood', so Severus ignored the smirk and put the lubricant to good use.
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