For inkgeist: Severus' Top Five Answers to "What's Your Poison?" (213 words)
1. The first time he heard this, visiting his maternal grandfather, he thought the old man was making fun of him and answered with a snide "aconite; what's yours?" He found out that the Princes are not known for their sense of humor.
2. Some years later, his preferred answer was "brandy". He had Lucius Malfoy to thank for teaching him the difference between cognac and armagnac.
3. Later still, he thought of Lucius with something like vengeance as he answered "absinthe--leave the bottle," and drank too much, too often, as though he could erase memories through inebriation.
4. Elfmade wine, then, for a time--not because it was the old standard for recovering alcoholics; Severus could never jeopardize any of his missions long enough to be an alcoholic, much less a recovering one. No, for him, the wine was merely symbolic for its high price tag--that the boy who used to do his own laundry in a dirty basin had finally made something of himself.
5. He doesn't drink any more, but some days, when his hands shake and he tries to blame it on the liters of coffee he drinks each day, some days he knows that he has just as much poison in him as he ever did.
For lore: Five Ways Remus Lupin can wrap Severus Snape around his little finger (295 words)
1. The easiest way to get what he wants, of course, is to trade for sex. Severus is amazingly susceptible to blowjobs, and sometimes all Remus has to do is swipe his tongue across his lips in promise, and Severus will change his mind quicker than you can say "ohGODyes."
2. Similarly, if the issue is something that Remus wants to buy, all he has to do is hint at the idea that the object in question could be used for sexual purposes. This is how he talked Severus into purchasing scented bath oil, organic honey from Peru, an exquisite pair of matching gold bracelets, and the buttery-soft suede leather pants--cliche, perhaps, for gay men, but Severus' arse had never looked so good.
3. If they are dressed in Muggle clothes, unbuttoning the top button on his shirt will also do the trick. Remus has never been partial to chest hair himself, but something about that span of skin drove Severus wild, and Remus wasn't about to complain.
4. The mornings after a full moon, Remus doesn't even have to do anything to wrap Severus around his little finger. The man is always there--always--and while Remus would hesitate to call his behavior "loving," there is at least a definite absence of snark.
5. And finally, when Severus is being especially difficult, Remus will be the one to give in, with all the grace he can muster, and by way of apology he will cook, or do the washing-up, or indulge Severus in the kind of slow, passionate love-making that he longs for. All of this, so that poor bewildered Severus settles even more firmly into his grip, and Remus will stand an even better chance of getting his way next time.
For purplefluffycat: Five things Severus Snape would do if he won one million galleons (172 words)
1. Retire, obviously. Minerva can go hang.
2. Visit Borgin & Burkes and buy some of the things Lucius was forced to sell, back before the war. Not that dead men would care about such things, but Severus would get a perverse sort of glee out of using a precious Malfoy heirloom as an ashtray.
3. Buy a house. Preferably one in the country, where no one would bother him. Or better yet--in another country. Perhaps a small island instead of a house.
4. Buy something ridiculously frivolous. Like some sort of antiquated transportation that everyone else hates, so that he can be eccentric and thus even more assured of peace--a unicycle, or a hot-air balloon, or a moped.
5. The last thing Dumbledore needs is another bloody monument in disgustingly cheerful colors. Severus would use a portion of the money--a small portion, mind you--to set up some sort of fund for orphans of the wizarding world, or those caught between Muggle and Wizard cultures. Anonymously, of course.
For stephanometra: Five things Narcissa misses about Lucius (253 words)
She misses him as:
1. A parent. Narcissa has never been the only parent around, even when Draco was tiny. Before that night at the Ministry, Lucius' mere presence in the house had been enough to force Draco to take her seriously. Now, her son meets privately with her sister, or heads off "to visit a friend" without paying her any mind, and it scares her to death.
2. A lover. Though she would never mention it to anyone, in the darkness of the night when her body is on fire and begging for release, she misses him. The touch of his hands, lips, skin--the heavy feel of his cock against her--now existed only in her imagination.
3. A balance. Lucius has a temper that rivals hers, she knows, yet somehow he was calm at her worst moments. With him gone, there is nothing to keep her from raging out of control.
4. An indulger. She could buy just about anything she wants, of course, but there was something special about dropping hints and leaving things for her husband to purchase as a gift.
5. A partner. Until he was arrested, she hadn't realized just how isolated she'd grown from other adults. The closest thing she has to a friend is her sisster--who is, quite probably, insane after her years in Azkaban. Narcissa's fears are growing more intense by the day, and she has no one she can even tell about the situation, much less someone who can help her.